Monday 3 June 2013

I Like Them Sloths

                                                                  Sloths. Sloths. Sloths.


This majestic creature may or may not be my favourite animal in the whole world. Ever. I'm sure you've seen them before, currently they are dominating many social media websites. It all started when a sloth crossed the road and a brilliant person dubbed it over with 'I believe I can fly'. Since then they are slowly taking over the world with their charm and wit. They have been featured in many hit movies such as , 'Les Slotherables' 'The Perks of being a Sloth Flower' and 'Mean Sloths' .

People doubted the sloths and said they wouldn't amount to anything in life. Brad Pitt stated in a interview regarding the sloths that "They could essentially take over Hollywood" and Nicki Minaj said "They are even better singers than me!". Robert Downing Jr. will actually be resigning from his role as Iron man for the next film in the franchise. The 4th film will be released in 2015 and go by the name "The Iron Sloth", staring an up in coming sloth actor. I heard he is very good.
   
Lets not get too ahead of ourselves though. You see, sloths haven't always been famous, they used to live quite a modest life hanging in the trees. They originated from South America and there they slept most of the day and ate bugs. Since then they have departed to many other places in the world, to please the demanding media. What hasn't changed, though, is their wonderful sense of humour and rugged good looks. They are the best looking animals out there. Like, just looks at them in all their glory.

Love them.

 I actually plan to own a pet sloth in the future. Maybe even 3. I have the names picked out already. I am quite fond of Milo, Frank and Otis. You see those are good sloth names. If I owned a dog though, I would name him qwat, because then I when I yelled from him I would say "COME QWAT". But this about sloths not dogs... Anyways, I shall own one of these fine fellas in the future. I might have to move to Costa Rica though. There are sloth shelters there, did you know that? They help all the baby sloths become big strong adult sloths. Lets look at these adorable babies.





And most of these sloths have grown up accomplish many things in their lives.

This sloth for example was featured on the American one dollar bill,


this sloth was the first person on the moon,


and recently this sloth was appointed as the new pope.

 We have unfortunately had some bad sloths in the mix. They are rarely spoken of, they have shamed the sloth race but I think they need to be mentioned. There was first slothzilla, who still strikes fear into many of our hearts. As well as the diabolical sloth who in fact was the true cause of the sinking of the Titanic. These sloths are certified slothopaths or the equivalent to psychopaths in humans.
I don't like ending this blog post on such a bad note. So, I leave you with one last message: Do not feel ashamed of yourself, be who you are and don't compare yourself to anyone else. You are a sloth and you should be proud.
uh wut?

So I guess now you know a little bit more about sloths. That's cool right? 
Sorry, this was a little bit weird.